Day 12:
Legs and abs day, I went to bed this evening thinking it must have been a good workout as I sneeze and want to cry, a good cry at least knowing that I am making changes to my life and body. Today I had an additional 2 mile run/walk, that I did even though I was sore! These runs/walks are turning more into runs! I love running outside, but if I don’t get there right away in the morning it makes it tough. I do like running on a treadmill as well, but love the atmosphere outside. Let’s talk voices, for some reason lately my voices are nice, positively reinforcing my newfound respect to 6 a week workouts. This helps with motivating myself to go the extra mile. When it gets tough in a workout and I want to just give up, this little voice starts singing "Try" by Pink. I love music, I find it very motivating, there are so many great songs to choose from.
Day 13.
Rest day
Day 14
Run/walk. This week I am focusing on making sure I am eating enough protein, I did an assessment of how much is enough and it was recommended that I eat 80-149 grams a day of protein. WHAT??? I thought this seemed like too much, but when I broke down what I try to get in on a daily basis, I realized that I already do this. I am going to increase some as I have a pretty wide range of the recommended amount. It is nice that I have been doing weight watchers for a few months, because my eating is pretty good and under control. Of course I still have my moments I am not proud of, but I found that if I don’t eat that piece of cake I am craving now that in two weeks I will be eating a whole cake myself…. Can I get an AMEN! Of course the important thing to remember is moderation.
Day 15
Run/walk. 38.5 minutes for my 5k today!!! It wasn’t a race, but it was my normal run, however I think this is the best time ever!!!! I was at the gym and when I finished I threw my arms in the air and celebrated, then looked around to see if anyone was in there, NOPE. But really I wouldn’t have cared at all, I was on a high! I was so high that when I was stretching out in the sauna I shared my success with a little old lady that was sitting in there. She asked me why I have made the decision to do what I am. To those that know me I am pretty good about coming up with answers to questions, not very often am I left quiet. I did give her some answers, my kids, my health, my life. But then really thinking about it, I have fought with my weight since I was in middle school, this was the first time I realized what an eating disorder was. I would eat with my friends and then run to the bathroom to puke it up. I by no means was even close to overweight at this point in my life; however had the goggles on that told me I was. At that point I was also battling a skin disease that made me look different, so I really didn’t want to put on weight to have another difference. Then I move to high school where the girls are worried about if their thighs touch. When I was in cheerleading season I knew I was fine because I was very active, on the off season I would work more leaving less time to focus on health. When I graduated and went off to college, well you know what happens there 15 at least pounds. I did work that weight on and off when I would realize I gained a little I would restrict my food until the weight was gone. I was still pretty active at this point. Then bam met my husband, not trying to place blame, but I was comfortable, we went through a lot of fertility issues and had a few miscarriages. I bounced back from that, until I got pregnant…. Up to 32 weeks with my first I had gained 14 pounds, my last three weeks I gained 10 pounds a week (this is the reason he came 5 weeks early, pre-eclampsia). I took me two years and realizing the fertility didn’t work for the second time around for me to lose the weight. 35 pounds to be exact, then bam again I was pregnant. Since having my second child I have tried and done well with losing weight, but then lose my mojo. So long story short (well not really) this is why I am choosing to change my life style and not look for the fad. I have a history, which most of us do. But I want to change my future. I can and want to set tough goals to be able to attain them. I am competitive with myself, always wanting to go a little faster, push myself a little harder.
Day 16:
Halfway there, baby! Although I hope it never ends. Today was the first day since my babies were born that I showed my stomach to anyone, even my husband (interesting, huh?). This is a huge step for me, I have hated my stomach since my first child, never did I think that I would show people.... It is far from perfect, it may never get there, but it is getting better. This motivates me to continue the race to fitness. I don't think I have ever been this motivated for me. It all started with me stepping on the scale, a thing I do once a week at home and once a week at weight watchers, I obsess about this that is why I restrict access. Anyhow, I looked down and thought that can’t be right…. 5 times later, a battery change and the number stayed the same…. Have I really lost 5 pounds, no way. I have struggled to lose my first ten pounds with weight watchers. With this I am extremely close to my 5% goal. (small places to celebrate) 15 weeks to be exact. AND GUESS WHAT, it has been done the right way, no starving, pill, etc. Good ‘ole fashioned butt kicking! This is where I cringe and think of the people that have been telling me this the whole time, thanks family. Maybe I needed to hit rock bottom, a foodaholic (this has to be something)? I needed to admit that I had a problem first before I could find a solution. I really wish that this would have come long ago. However focus on the future, now is my time to rock this! My mom asked me why I was so successful this time, was it investing time and patience with a personal trainer, what was it? Again I am quick to answer and then reflect later. I am not looking for a fad diet or pill; I AM making changes all over. I am in a great job now that allows me more time to work out and do the things that I love. I feel at a good point healthfully, spiritually, emotionally, physically. I believe all of these things aided in my unhealthy choices, it was easy to have that comfort food because I had as stressful job, didn't feel well a lot. (I remember several times my husband getting on my butt because I wanted to nap all weekend, then it turned into not feeling well so I had to nap) The viscous cycle that is hard to admit when you are there. This is not my first time here, I am a thriver of sexual assault. Until I admitted I needed help, I didn't get it. Why do we hit home that is shows weakness to admit the small imperfections we all have? So why does it take rock bottom. Man if I could go back and know what I know now.... again no regret. This is why I am positive this is my time, this time is different.
I think that I needed to live before, try things that were rumored to work, and find out they didn't. I don’t regret, never, I won’t live that way. I think my experience has lead me to where I am today. I think the key is in my week of revelations that I needed to realize for myself, no one could tell me. As far as my workout went, it did. It feels good to hurt! I then went for a bike ride and a short walk!
Sorry guys this has been a week of revelation for me.... So deep. Enjoy! PS if anyone has questions about anything I share on my blog, I would be more than happy for you to get my contact information and answer any questions you have!
Day 17:
Today was not my day. My youngest son, Kellan, slept from 8:30 pm- 12:30 am, he didn’t go back to sleep at all. Originally my husband was going to help so I could make it to the gym, however for some reason I couldn’t go back to bed, so I stayed awake. I was ok missing my run today, because if I did it I am sure something would’ve gone wrong AND I don’t want to injure myself. I did however end up getting my 10,000 steps in, so a little activity. Tomorrow is my big weigh in…. Can’t wait!
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