"Well, it’s out there now. Yep, that’s me on the internet. What did I get myself into? Geez, I look like that? Why did I do this? At least my head is cut off. Looks like I need a new sports bra, give the girls a boost. I have my mother’s hands. My butt doesn’t look too bad, but that tire needs to go."
Everything I typed in the paragraph above ran through my mine the minute Hallie showed me the picture. I never have liked looking at myself in pictures. Thanks to Facebook and Pinterest I have learned the correct poses and hand positions to help look my best self, or at least fake it. I can guarantee that my picture would have looked a heck of a lot different if I could have done my normal picture taking routine. But then you wouldn’t be looking at the truth. I wouldn’t have to see it either.
After mulling around the idea of my body being out there for everyone to see I began to think about why my body is the way it is. I know my strong points. They just get covered up by the little bad things that add up quickly. For example, my thighs are big, always have been. I have always liked my legs from the mid-thigh down. But that upper half, sheesh. Let’s face it; I will never have a gap. I don’t think I want a gap. After beating myself down I realized, my legs may be big, but they are strong. They helped me sprint and step hurdles in high school. During the summer I was a catcher. Squat workouts, no sweat. Leg extensions, you got it. Come see what I can do on the hip sled. I challenge you to a leg day with me. My butt has a nice lift and curve on a good day. Thank you lunges. Honestly, my legs aren’t too bad. They get the job done.
Arms? More like tree trunks. But when I look in the mirror and flex, it’s a totally different picture. I used to have a hard time with tricep pushups. One or two was okay, but five? No way. After working hard and doing a little at a time, I have worked my way up to where I can do five. And then do five more. You might see big arms, but I know what those big arms can do. I have to keep telling myself that most people have no idea what my body can do. I have to keep telling myself that I still don’t know everything my body can do.
Spare tire. Yep, it’s still there. The last thing to go. I realize that my chances of having a six pack are slim to none. I’m not oblivious to the fact that I have extra cushion that I don’t need. Some of that cushion is never going to go away without some kind of surgery. I have three C-sections to thank for that cushion, it’s staying. I know that if I keep at it some of that will burn off. That’s why I signed up for this. It’s going to take time. And by working hard and sweating a lot I’m earning more time. Woodchops and I are going to get real familiar with each other.
So, I guess this picture was worth it. It made me realize "my worth." It is a reminder of why I’m having a grilled chicken salad instead of my homemade spaghetti and garlic bread; why I reach for almonds and reduced sugar craisins instead of the Halloween candy. Water vs. Pepsi. Maybe after all of this I will compare the now vs. then picture. Those thousand words are going to be different this time around.
